It worth mentioning that my book "Building Your Cult" is NOT about becoming one of these cult leaders. "Building Your Cult" is really a self improvement book that is about creating passion so strong that people want to follow you.
~ Dantalion Jones
Some of these traits of abuse may seem familiar to others as well. From the Wicked Shepherds site is this checklist of spiritually abusive acts. Included are these items:
oDoes your church tightly control the flow of information within its ranks?
oDoes the head of your church, along with the other "leaders", use public shaming as a method to gain the compliance of followers?
oDoes the head of your church and his "fellow elders" appear to be intolerant or consider it evil persecution when criticized or questioned?
oAre you discouraged to associate with former members, being warned that they are "evil" or "defiling"; a "danger to your spiritual welfare"?
oIs leaving your church to join another church that "is not approved by your elders" equal to leaving God?
oDo you fear being rebuked, shunned, or ignored for expressing a different opinion?
oIs there a relentless obsession of reminding the sheep of "who's in authority"?
There are many more questions in the survey, and you may want to check it out.
Is your pastor a serial bully? A long checklist is available at Because It Matters blog. An excerpt:
ois self-opinionated and displays arrogance, audacity, a superior sense of entitlement and sense of invulnerability and untouchability
ohas a deep-seated *contempt of clients* in contrast to his or her professed compassion
ois a *control freak* and has a *compulsive need to control everyone and everything you say, do, think and believe; for example, will launch an immediate personal attack attempting to restrict what you are permitted to say if you start talking knowledgeably about psychopathic personality or antisocial personality disorder in their presence - but aggressively maintains the right to talk (usually unknowledgeably) about anything they choose; serial bullies despise anyone who enables others to see through their deception and their mask of sanity
odisplays a *compulsive need to criticise* whilst simultaneously refusing to value, praise and acknowledge others, their achievements, or their existence
o shows a lack of joined-up thinking with conversation that doesn't flow and arguments that don't hold water
oflits from topic to topic so that you come away feeling you've never had a proper conversation
Resources that explore the mechanism of spiritual abuse:
Warning Signs is cult expert Rick Ross's list of things to look for, not just in a potential cult leader, but in those who are followers of cult leaders -- and also what to look for in a safe group. This is an essential list for anyone looking to attend a new church because you never know at first what kind of group you may be joining. At first, spiritually abusive groups often bombard new members or attendees with love and care. Some warning signs of abusive leaders:
* Absolute authoritarianism without meaningful accountability
* no tolerance for questions or critical inquiry
* unrealistic fears about the outside world
* the leader always needing to be right.
Some warning signs of cult followers:
* Leader criticism is characterized as "persecution"
* extreme obsessiveness toward leader or group, resulting in the exclusion of every practical concern
* a dramatic loss of spontaneity and sense of humor
* former followers are, at best, considered negatively, and at worst considered evil
* anything the leader does can be justified, no matter how harsh or harmful.
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